New relationship dating tips
Not so, says University of Chicago Booth School of Business professor Nicholas Epley.
In his study of 104 couples, he asked one partner to predict how the other would respond to questions on everything from the use of cash to biggest life regret.
The emails give people a bird's-eye view of Crowley's thoughts and plans, writes Bryant.
And, best of all, are "a good way to start a conversation" that doesn't involve the cost of a babysitter or who forgot to make the reservation (again).
Some of the spouses simply guessed (e.g.,"Ernie would never use a credit card! Others had to write about a typical day in their partner's life, and then "put themselves in his or her shoes" before predicting (e.g., "Ernie works so hard all day at the bank, and he resents even paying five dollars for lunch; he would never use a credit card.") The result: Those who tried to imagine the other's perspective were less accurate than those who winged it—confirming Epley's real-life experience of giving his dolphin-loving wife a day of caring for the animals at the aquarium, not realizing that, since she'd just had a baby, she would not enjoy the binding, full-body wetsuit.
While understanding that your partner may have a different take than you is helpful, he writes in Mindwise: How We Understand What Others Think, Believe, Feel, and Want, you don't always imagine your partner's actual "different take." The best way to get your partner's point of view, he says, is to simply—oh yes, you saw this coming—ask for it.... Because sure, you want to pounce on him when you catch him in a jerky act—smoking a cigarette out the window?
The next time you stumble on, say, how to make a penny ball that repels slugs, make sure you share it with your husband, the gardener, by using a technique reported on by Adam Bryant in Quick and Nimble: Lessons from Leading CEOs on How to Create a Culture of Innovation.Learn how to regain your trust back so you can love again.This article was written by a professional writer, copy edited and fact checked through a multi-point auditing system, in efforts to ensure our readers only receive the best information.One thing is for sure, though: Strong, healthy, long-term relationships don't just happen: They take diligence, awareness and a definite sense of being present and in the moment.When all else fails, a smart dose of honesty and open-mindedness goes a long way when you're first getting to know someone. But in the end, whether you follow this expert's advice or that one's doesn't matter so much.