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The only thing that can break up a relationship are the partners themselves.”— Kelly Campbell, Ph.

D., associate professor of psychology at California State University, San Bernardino“Research has shown that the way a problem is brought up determines both how the rest of that conversation will go and how the rest of the relationship will go.

Although other differences can be accommodated and tolerated, a difference in values is particularly problematic if the goal is long-lasting love.

Another secret for a long marriage: Both partners need to commit to making it work, no matter what.

Then when you go home to Yours Truly, you’ll both be recharged and ready to come together even stronger.”— Amy Baglan, CEO of Meet Mindful, a dating site for people into healthy living, well-being, and mindfulness“Researchers have found that four conflict messages are able to predict whether couples remain together or get divorced: contempt, criticism, stonewalling (or withdrawal), and defensiveness. It’s about sensation, emotional intimacy, stress relief, improved health (improved immune and cardiovascular system), and increased emotional bonding with your partner, thanks to the wonderful release of hormones due to physical touch.

Together, they’re known as the ‘Four Horsemen of Divorce.’ Instead of resorting to these negative tactics, fight fairly: Look for places where each partner’s goal overlaps into a shared common goal and build from that. There are many more reasons to have sex than just getting off.”— Kat Van Kirk, Ph.

Here, we’ve distilled it down to the very best advice 15 experts have learned.

D., psychologist and dating expert“There is one major cause of relationship problems: self-abandonment.

We can ‘abandon’ ourselves in many areas: emotional (judging or ignoring our feelings), financial (spending irresponsibly), organizational (being late or messy), physical (eating badly, not exercising), relational (creating conflict in a relationship), or spiritual (depending too much on your partner for love).

As part of Committed, we’re exploring partnerships ranging from a textbook marriage between high-school sweethearts to a gay couple creating a life together in the conservative deep South.

has taught us anything, it’s that relationships are messy.

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