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The emotional processes which worked for him as a child may begin to work against him as an adult. of Duke University supports the idea that invalidation leads to mental health problems.

In fact, one defintion of the so-called "borderline personality disorder" is "the normal response of a sensitive person to an invalidating environment" (2)Psychiatrist R. Laing said that when we invalidate people or deny their perceptions and personal experiences, we make mental invalids of them. He writes "...a history of emotion invalidation (i.e., a history of childhood psychological abuse and parental punishment, minimization, and distress in response to negative emotion) was significantly associated with emotion inhibition (i.e., ambivalence over emotional expression, thought suppression, and avoidant stress responses).

Invalidation is to reject, ignore, mock, tease, judge, or diminish someone's feelings.

Constant invalidation may be one of the most significant reasons a person with high innate emotional intelligence suffers from unmet emotional needs later in life.

To adapt to this unhealthy and dysfunctional environment, the working relationship between his thoughts and feelings becomes twisted.

I have also heard them say things like: "He cries at the drop of a hat." One teacher said "When she starts to cry, I just ignore her and eventually she stops." Another said, "When one kid's crying is disrupting the lesson, I tell them to go cry in the hall till they can pull themselves back together again."All invalidation is a form of psychological attack.

And I've also noticed that the very people who tell me this will also eventually deal with frustrating things, and they don't follow their own advice.

See, it's different when something happens to THEM....not when it's me.

When we are invalidated by having our feelings repudiated, we are attacked at the deepest level possible, since our feelings are the innermost expression of our individual identities.

Telling a person she shouldn't feel the way she does feel is akin to telling water it shouldn't be wet, grass it shouldn't be green, or rocks they shouldn't be hard. Whether we like or understand someone's feelings, they are still real.

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