Dating while getting sober
The other was from an indie-rock type who frequented a burger shop less than two blocks from my front door. There was not a pair of Spanx in the world big enough to bridge the distance between the woman on that site and the woman who stood in my kitchen, pacing in jogging pants. This story was one of a thousand reminders that dating was never easier when I was drinking.
Those two men had nothing in common, except that they both wanted to meet. Alcohol may have turned me into Cinderella for a few radiant hours, but I would wake up in dishrags again, crying about the messes I'd made.
It granted me the clarity that "hanging out at the bar" often lacked. How I missed those beautiful, damaged men, but we kept our distance from each other.
One of the great, unheralded aspects of Internet dating was that the word was in the title, thus eliminating any ambiguity. Occasionally I would e-mail one of them, and they never wrote back, and I got it.
I was starting to learn one of the most important lessons of online dating: the wisdom of saying no. I was shy and ambitious, a terrible mix, and so I tried to dismantle my isolationist tendencies.
Yes to this party I don't want to go to, yes to this person I don't want to date, yes to this assignment I'm afraid to botch, because saying yes was the path to a remarkable life.
Find Sober Love and develop Sober Friendships with THOUSANDS of other Recovering Singles from around the World.
*It is suggested by AA and most 12 Step Groups of Recovery to wait one year before entering into a romantic relationship.
Search by Country, State, City or zip code and then narrow down your search further to your own 12 Step Program.I swear I was in love with myself by the time I finished, a bottle having morphed into a six-pack of beer, and I posted the hottest picture of myself I had: a close-up taken by a professional photographer in which I appeared 20 pounds lighter than I was.I woke up the next day to a kitchen clogged with cigarette smoke, and the memory surfaced in pieces: I think I joined a dating site last night.I knew such joy could exist between two people, but I had no clue how to get to it anymore. So my "About Me" statement began "I used to drink, but I don't anymore." I've had stronger openings, but this one was good for now.My only directions involved taking a glass of wine to my lips and letting the sweet release show me the way. It was the fate of all single women in their late thirties to stare down a personal profile, and as far as punishments go, this was fairly benign. It allowed me to inch toward intimacy with built-in distance. I understood that not drinking—and not drinking to such an extent that it was the first detail I shared about myself—would turn off certain guys. Those bearded eccentrics with their fluency in HBO shows and single-malt Scotch.