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“Russian men are patriarchal alpha males,” insists she, declaring openly that at first it is a huge turn-on.
The social responsibility of males to provide for their females is not only materialistic in the former Soviet Union, states she, but more alike paternal duty, where a woman is looked after by someone responsible for her, because it’s his moral obligation and delight.
The liberal arts graduate decided to explore her homeland by living there, and temporarily moved to Russia in 2010.
To provide for herself, she was teaching English in St. “The first thing that you’ll notice when you get to Russia is that the women are astoundingly beautiful and immaculately presented”, she says.
“If he hits you, that means he loves you,” quotes Diana her mother’s saying, the old-fashioned Slavic belief, which is the reason why domestic violence in Russia is still widely underreported — as well as most other forms of physical assault, making it a “norm” rather than a crime.
Calling her relationship with Russian men “convoluted”, the daring New-Yorker goes on describing the peculiarities of the local dating etiquette.
I have been trying to bring this idea home for years, but she expressed it so much better.
According to the hunter-prey dating model that is accepted as a statute in Russia, the lady has to resist advances for as long as she can (usually not for long, due to the overpowering siege by the male).
“Russian men are quintessential gentlemen on first dates,” writes Bruk. They open the door for you and pull out your chair.” And they pay for the dates. Even true-to-the-core feminists apparently can live with men paying for them, if this is a “custom”.
Post-USSR women are brought up to be passive, display themselves, and let men approach, otherwise you are not “modest”, which is what all guys want in their girlfriends (according to the local beliefs).
In Diana’s words, if a Russian guy likes you, nothing can stop him.