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The way we perceive and experience love might have to do with our siblings or our parents — but it also could be all those Nora Ephron movies we watched.
Going back to the asparagus incident: I probably wasn’t withholding asparagus sex because I’m an only child.
The problems start when I blame all of my flaws on my sibling-less childhood.
They also stem from my SOs drawing conclusions about me because I don’t have siblings, explains Lauren Sandler, journalist and author of “Stereotypes about only children can become a totalizing narrative,” Sandler says.
The dumbest fight I’ve ever had with a significant other was about asparagus.
According to the US Census Bureau, out of about 12 million single-parent families in 2016, more than 80% were headed by single mothers.
(Clearly, this wasn’t my personal experience.) But when you look at actual attachment theory, a psychological model attempting to explain the dynamics of relationships, it’s more complicated than it seems.
Dorfman explains: “Only children’s attachment styles vary depending upon the quality and personalities of the child's parents.”According to Dorfman, if your parents pay attention to you when you’re a kid, you should be able to develop healthy and secure attachments (read: relationships) in adulthood.
For a long time, I believed the crux of my asparagus fight was directly informed by my only childhood.
But after texting all of my exes and hearing from over a dozen therapists, psychologists, researchers, and authors, I’ve learned it’s a little bit more complicated than that.